Ranting dead ahead. Do not read unless you want to read meaningless garble.
My heart aches, my hands quiver, and my voice fails me. What is this feeling inside of me so dull and so huge that I cannot scream, move, or do anything but wait patiently ridiculously frustrated and in pain? Tears that fell so easily immersed in a fairy tale, could not make an appearance to relieve in reality. Probably because, in reality, I understand it all too well that it helps nothing. *In need of an exceptionally sad tear-jerker*
Why do I always push away important things before grabbing hold of it? It's so silly. Knowing how important it is to a person and yet loathing it in a confrontation. If loathing is another way of loving, why does it hurt? If loving hurts why love? Always knowing answers but having no way of understanding how to act it out hurts the most. It is as frustrating as listening to an explanation without a conclusion. The difference between head knowledge, heart felt emotions, wanting to do something, being able to do that something, and doing that something... wait, was there a difference or do they all come together?
I'm Alive (BECCA, Kuro Shitsuji OST)
I was exceptionally touched by this song. It pulled the strings in my heart in such a way that it resonated so beautifully in harmony. I still cannot believe that I find this song the highlight of Kuro Shitsuji. Does that mean I don't like Kuro Shitsuji?
Nothing I say comes out right,
I can’t love without a fight,
No one ever knows my name,
When I pray for sun, it rains.
I’m so sick of wasting time,
But nothing’s moving in my mind,
Inspiration can’t be found,
I get up and fall but,
I’m Alive, I’m Alive, oh yeah
Between the good and bad is where you’ll find me,
Reaching for heaven.
I will fight, and I’ll sleep when I die,
I’ll live my life, I’m Alive!
Every lover breaks my heart,
And I know it from the start,
Still I end up in a mess,
Every time I second guess.
All my friends just run away,
When I’m having a bad day,
I would rather stay in bed, but I know there’s a reason.
I’m Alive, I’m Alive, oh yeah
Between the good and bad is where you’ll find me,
Reaching for heaven.
I will fight, and I’ll sleep when I die,
I’ll live my life, I’m Alive!
When I’m bored to death at home,
When he won’t pick up the phone,
When I’m stuck in second place,
Those regrets I can’t erase.
Only I can change the end,
Of the movie in my head,
There’s no time for misery,
I won’t feel sorry for me.
I’m Alive, I’m Alive, oh yeah
Between the good and bad is where you’ll find me,
Reaching for heaven.
I will fight, and I’ll sleep when I die,
I’ll live my life, ohhhh!
I’m Alive, I’m Alive, oh yeah
Between the good and bad is where you’ll find me,
Reaching for heaven.
I will fight, and I’ll sleep when I die,
I’ll live my hard life,
I’ll live my life,
I’m Alive!
Taken from: atashi@wordpress through gendou.com/amusic
