Japan in Autumn

In April this year, I'd have been to Japan twice now. Two vacations that resulted from unexpected events. My interest in anime and all things Japan were not exactly deep. But I did spend a fair amount of time gawking at 2D drawings and falling in love with 2D characters. In fact, it was only last year that I started liking dramas and such. When the opportunity came to visit a country where everything I've read about can be found, I had to take that chance. (Europe and America will have to wait, hahaha.)

What started as a mere pastime became a dream that turned into an obsession, and finally, a reality. I had always wanted to pursue a PhD but it wasn't an option at the time I graduated. Then, inspired by a Japanese TV show, I started looking up this university. Turns out there was a private scholarship open for application. The likelihood of me looking this up and watching that TV show was close to zero before last year. So I was convinced to some extent that something else was at work here.

I prayed about it and decided to apply for the scholarship and the university at the same time. I didn't get the scholarship but the university accepted me and nominated me for an even better scholarship! How could I not be convinced that this was something meant for me? And now... after months of waiting and filling of forms...

I'm going to Japan this September!

It'll be a different experience. Something very different for me. I'll be all on my own for the first time in my whole life. I don't know if I'll like it or if I can cope, but I know I'll enjoy every moment of it.

I've never been entirely on my own before. I've never gotten the opportunity and I regret never fighting for it. Now that I know I will be on my own, I can't say I'm not worried or anxious or scared out of my wits. But I know I want to do this. Perhaps this post is about me trying to convince myself I want to.

All I know though is that this is something I must do. I'll regret it if I don't.

Random Musings

Just found out I have a webwiki dedicated to this site: http://www.webwiki.com/jezarinn.blogspot.com.

Realizing That Living Alone is Not Easy!

Many times I tell myself that I'm better off alone. That I don't need to be judged by the people around me. That I'd do great if I have my own place to mess up on my own and no one to tell me I did not do it right.

It's my life and I should determine what makes me happy, right?

Well, I always hear that cheesy old phrase "no man's an island" every time I want to be alone. Sure, we need people to communicate with, to enrich our lives, blah blah blah. But! More importantly, it's because we just can't do everything by ourselves. We're just not that capable.

For example, I speak okay-ish Japanese. People understand me most of the time and I understand them half the time. It's enough to get me through the day. But when it comes to telling the dentist I've got a cavity that needs a better filling that that white stuff you keep shoving into it and it drops out right after having porridge for dinner (4 hours after you've had it fixed) is just not doing me a favour. Every visit to your clinic is costing me money a student with loans cannot spend.

And I can't convey myself well enough to tell the dentist that! What's worse, I can't understand if the dentist is telling me what I need to know. They're always in a hurry and I always feel rushed but when I want to ask them something they answer me so fast I don't understand and they keep sending me on my way more confused than before I asked my question. It's like they want me to keep coming back over and over until I've paid them sufficiently for a holiday they had planned next month. (Fine, that sounds unfair. But I'm still paying too much for what seems like nothing.)

Okay, I digressed. A lot. (These thoughts have been brewing for a long while I didn't realize I had all these pent up feelings.)

The point of mentioning the dentist was actually because there are things that we are just not capable of doing. Like, speaking fluently enough to communicate your thoughts and having your teeth fixed the way you want them to be. (Properly.)

That said, I need a new dentist in Japan! Any recommendations welcome!

Mendeley Desktop

I've been a loyal user of EndNote in my uni years and it was a program that was easy enough to manipulate. However, the biggest problem I had with it was portability. I could not transfer libraries easily between machines or share my documents such that the references will not change in a different PC.

I've long since graduated and no longer have access to a free source of EndNote so I started looking for alternatives.

Mendeley Desktop solved all my problems. Not only could I work on my paper from the office and my home, I did not have to worry about transferring the references, annotations or changes to the citation style that I have made. I can work on any PC and my citations would still be safe.

Pros
+ I don't have to download citations from webpages, it grabs it from the PDF or loads it from the web importer.
+ It manages my PDF database.

+ I can choose to export only PDFs with notations thus making writing a lot easier.
+ It allows tagging and sort by folder.
+ I don't have to manually enter citation terms. Just edit when necessary (which isn't frequent).
+ Formatting editions made in Word stays in Word. I don't have to change it from the citation manager.

Cons
+ Editing the citation style can be difficult to learn initially but once you know how, the program is perfect.
+ It is unable to recognise uncommon document types like news articles or webpages.
+ It cannot list entries with no tags automatically. I have to go through the whole list which isn't practical.

CopiPe

The best app ever!

Finally! I can just copy and paste timestamps into my notes or journal.

Phone Issues

It has been awhile since I considered buying a phone. Even when it cracked late last year I simply taped over it and tried not to cry when I see it. Now, I've done it again. Dropped it on concrete for no good reason and cracked the entire top portion of the phone. There are long lines of cracks right down the middle of the screen. I have to be very careful with how I slide my fingers over the screen or I'd get slightly cut. Yes, my screen, my phone, still works. It's cracked and everything but it still functions normally.

The question is, should I buy a phone now or not?

I'm going to Japan next month. Maybe I should buy a phone there instead. Will my phone last till then? I have cash for like... a really cheap phone right now. Or I could get someone over at Aussie to help me purchase one.

Oh well... I'll leave the thinking to another day when I'm not so emotionally impaired.

On another note, I'm seated at a corner in the Coffee Club at Kinokuniya, KLCC. Can't say much about the coffee or microwaved waffles with blueberry jam but sitting here, I realized how comfortable I am just being here. Being vaguely aware of the turning of fan blades somewhere above my head, the not-too-bright but well-lit area, comfortable seats, and quiet; they're all good. While I thought about how bad my phone is, I can't help but feel calm and at peace.

I may have just found another favourite place.

Back and Going Again

I didn't think about it then but perhaps I should have posted about my last trip to Japan. :D I thought it would be my first and last trip there since I don't print money but that trip taught me one thing... I can afford a trip to Japan!

It lasted 9 days. Costed me RM4500. That included my airfare, JR pass, hostel, phone rental, food, etc. Everything. I kept hearing from friends that I'd need at least RM8k to be there so I saved about that much and found out, I only needed half of it! It was a pretty good deal. All because Air Asia exists!

So, I went to Osaka, visited Kyoto, Tokyo and came back. Now, I'm ready to visit again :D

Useful Japanese Sites

It's been a long time. Two whole years! I haven't seen this site for TWO whole years!

Anyway :)

Found a list of useful Japanese sites and thought I could share should anyone wish to find them:

Yamasa Institute - Online Kanji Dictionary for Kanji Stroke Order


You may search for the desired kanji either by:

+ typing in the kanji / copy + pasting the kanji into the search box +

+ searching for the Japanese word and clicking on the kanji in question +

+ searching for the Japanese translation of the English word and clicking on the desired kanji +

+ refer to the JLPT kanji list (old list) +

Jim Breen's WWWJDIC

Site for text glossing. It translates a sentence or a paragraph to the most likely meaning (usually accurate, some discretion may be necessary).

Space ALC

An English-Japanese translator. Best used with Jim Breen's WWWJDIC - Text/Word Glossing site. Actually, a lot of Japanese-related sites are best used with Jim Breen's WWWJDIC.

Weblio Honyaku
+ Japanese-English dictionary +

When what you want is just not the same as the next person

It's really great when you know your purpose in life. And really great when you find others who are going in the same direction as you are. But it's not so great when you find out one day that, their commitment to what you wish to do is just not the same. I mean, your priorities will never be the same as the next person. And just because it's not the same, it doesn't mean you expect them to rearrange it so it's the same as yours. Not all of us have the same important things.

I've always remembered this story about Mary and Martha. Martha was the sister who was distracted with preparations to receive Jesus into their home while Mary was the one who sought his teachings. Because of this, Martha asked Jesus why had he not told Mary to help her in the kitchen. But Jesus said that Mary had chosen the better thing and that will not be taken away from her.

I remembered a lot of teachings from this story. The first was the more obvious. Isn't it more crucial to learn everything you can from Jesus while he was still in flesh and blood on earth? Or in today's world, isn't it more important to spend time learning and getting to know Jesus rather than be worries and flustered about your day-to-day life? Because, Jesus teaches you about life and more importantly, eternal life. (For instance, he teaches us not to worry. Is not life more important than food and the body more important than clothes?)

The second less obvious teaching was, who are you compared to the two sisters? Are you Martha the worry-wart? Or are you Mary, the one who knows what's truly important to her? Even so, what Jesus said meant that while Mary had chosen the better thing, Martha has her place as well. To Martha, preparing food and comfort for her guests is important. To Mary, it was learning everything she can from Jesus. So, while Mary chose the better thing, it doesn't mean Martha hasn't chosen the right thing. I can't find the passage right now but I know that in a later event, Martha was still serving guests but this time she had not bugged Mary to help her. It really means that, you have your gifts and in the same event, you might not be doing the same thing as the next person.

Everyone has their important thing and you don't go telling someone else to do your important thing.

While it's great for those who knows what are their important things, there are still many of us who are still looking for it. We're comfortable to a certain extent with how we live but there's always that nagging feeling that there's more to it. Sometimes we just need to reach out and grab it. Or just take a bold step in a direction to find out if that's really important to us. Or take a step back to realize that maybe what we're currently doing isn't meant for us.

Sometimes I truly understand how someone else gets upset when they're stood up or when no one turns up for a meeting they plan or a practice they've scheduled. I really get it if you're annoyed that someone made a commitment and failed to fulfill it.

But what I don't get is the unfair comments they say after everything you've done. Really makes you realize that, it's not the many good things you've done but the one time you mess up that matters to everyone else.

How Not To Spend V-day cum CNY

Spending V-day without that special someone is somewhat depressing if you're a festive person. (Which thankfully, I'm not.) But spending V-day with your brother? In two different shopping malls in less than two hours? Oh-em-gee.

I had expected pyramid and subang parade to be... well, quite dead on cny but I hadn't expected sooo many shops to be closed! There goes the bag shopping plan. Now I have no backpack to use. (I guess I could sew it up a bit more so it wouldn't break within the next... I don't know... one week?)

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In view of my present boredom, I have decided to report on my daily activities. (Oh, it's a given I'd be spending time with darling given that he's back from Aussie until the end of February, so this won't be included in my report. ;P)

If I'm not doing labwork, I'm writing labwork.
If I'm doing non-labwork related activities, I'm on facebook.
If I'm not on facebook, I'm reading and responding to emails.
If I'm not dealing with emails, I'm dealing with MUPA-related events.

It's quite routine actually. I would add reading manga to this list but I've run out of manga I'd like to read. Recommendations anyone?

Current facebook apps:
+ Zoo World +
+ Mafia Wars +
+ Cafe World +
+ Restaurant City +
+ Bejeweled Blitz +

Recent Links
+ MUPA: a sub-division of the Monash Student Council +
+ MUPA Intranet: A site for all Monash Masters, PhD & Hons students +
+ Land of Acardia: A role playing site at deviantart +

Keeping Up With:
+ Ashita no Ou-sama (recently completed) +
+ Bloody Monday Season 2 +
+ Detective Conan +
+ Fairy Tail +
+ Full Metal Alchemist +
+ Goong +
+ Hajime no Ippo +
+ History's Strongest Disciple Kenichi +
+ K-On! +
+ Kekkaishi +
+ Naruto +
+ Skip Beat +
+ The One +
+ One Piece +
+ Xxxholic +

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Spending time with family is important to many people. 
I on the other hand, try my best to spend as little time with them. 
I wonder why. 

What I Miss

Honours year is so short. Research is fun. People... not so much. In fact, am so fed up with having to put up with lousy attitudes that I've become so cynical and mean. Although, having people with an attitude around made me realize that there are also those who understands and are truly awesome. Thanks everyone for being supportive (if you know me, you know what I'm talking about.)

Putting people aside, research has been going on smoothly. I've taken up a presidency post with the Monash Postgraduate Association at the Sunway Campus. It's a lot of work. Sat for my first student council meeting on Saturday and found out it was five hours long. Was definitely not prepared.

Meetings, research, and avoiding ignorant snubs have taken up too much of my time.

I miss having time to sit down, relax with a cuppa, and do nothing work related.
I miss my piano.
I miss being able to sleep at ten and wake up at ten.

I just miss being me.

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Joined a group with Joo at deviantart. Am apparently supposed to proofread.
Will explain more later.

We Don't Date N00bs, We Pwn Them!

That sentence is just awesome! Check out n00b boyfriend by college humour:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVfVqfIN8_c

By the way,

Carolyn has great friends! :D

My car broke down today (thankfully within Sunway College so we weren't on the road). The water pump wasn't working and I think a safety device was stopping the engine from running to prevent it from over-heating. My brother was with me so that was a good thing. He went to get the mechanic and paid for everything. When a frustrated message was posted on fb and msn, I was thankful for two friends who offered to fetch me from the train station! (No car = public transport.)

See, Carolyn isn't used to getting help without having to ask because Carolyn usually just asks for them beforehand. So when Carolyn's friends offer their help, she's really very happy and grateful.

Thank you for making my day!

Thinking and Waiting

September.22.2009:Tuesday
+ Happy Raya (Day 2) +
+ watching The Ugly Truth with chian and voon +
+ waiting for plates to grow +
+ thinking if I should start the susceptibility test tomorrow +
+ should've told God my worries sooner +

Paradox

I am the perfect example that being a Christian does not mean you're perfect.

Graduation 2009

Nine hours,
Seven blisters,
Six great friends,
One certificate.

Fun times!

That's what I brought back with me on the 5th of September, 2009 (Saturday). I've always thought that graduation would be a very boring ceremony. There was the fear of speeches and the long waiting.

Surprisingly though, I was very wrong! (Okay, so maybe not surprising.)

The graduation ceremony itself was generally painless. They gave us a light-hearted demonstration on what to do on stage. There was the academic procession where the academic council and educators (i.e. lecturers) walked in with their full academic gown. I learned what it meant to doff your hat (without taking it off). It seems that in an academic ceremony, doffing is how you show that you're acknowledging another person's presence. There was only one true long speech in the whole event. Other than that, it was really, truly a ceremony.

Graduating candidates went up on stage to be told one by one "ancora imparo" by the councillor. To be wished well for the future by our pro vice chancellor before walking down the stage. To be told to pick up our pictures after the event. (Haha!) The (now) graduates will then follow the academic procession out of the hall at the end.

The afternoon was spent running around the university, taking as many pictures as possible. The evening was spent meeting up friends and wishing each other well. Taking photos, remembering the occasion, catching up, and mostly... doing one's best to not think of pain. (One should always remember to wear comfortable shoes no matter what...)

Rather than the actual event, what made me happy or what made this event most memorable was my friends. One dropped by before I left to give me a bouquet of flowers. (That really teared me up, thanks lots!) Two others showed up for the graduation when I didn't think they would (since they've already graduated ages ago). And three great friends just made the day splendid! (You know who you all are!)

I don't have our pictures now but once they're here, I'll put them up on facebook or picasa. (Thanks D-Way for "immortalizing" that day!) I really had a great time. Like what Ming said, that day, graduating must have been a secondary purpose for me too. I left that hall thinking: I've still got so much to do! Graduation, it really isn't an end at all. Especially not when you're still going back to the university to finish off your honours year!

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Thank you so much!

Roses are pink, roses are cream...

They're very pretty!

Before the graduation... I actually had make up on. Nona was saying, better put to make sure photos turn out better. (Haha!)

After the graduation... A pic with the photographer for the day. Thanks lots!

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More to come...